By Kim Mazewski, CPO® | Originally posted on www.consciouslyclearedandcontained.com

Edited for GO Month

The subtitle here is “…even if you don’t consider yourself organized.” No judgment, this is a family affair. You can benefit from these lessons too, you can strengthen these skills, you can practice together and model. You can lead by example and gently nudge your kids toward a tidier home. You can show them how amazing it feels to center your home around memory making, rest, and play—instead of clutter, chaos, and overwhelm. 

Read on for concrete examples, sample scripts, tangible advice you can start today—it’s not too late, even if they’re grown and have a family of their own, teens, school age, or babies! 

1. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY — it starts with being a conscious consumer 

If you are buying junk for yourself, if you are giving into impulse purchases, if you have packages showing up every day on the doorstep, your kids are receiving the message that it’s OK to overconsume, to buy what we don’t need, to buy and buy and buy without limit.  

Your kids are watching you. What you do in terms of purchasing has a greater impact than what you say. Imagine how they might feel if you say, “You don’t need that,” but they see you buying another x. “You already have that at home,” or “we have enough superheroes already,” and they see you unboxing another delivery of clothes from a favorite online store.  

Try saying (and modeling) this: We can buy only what we need and love. We can feel good about how we spend our money. 

2. NOTICE HOW YOU FEEL 

When your playroom is completely packed and stuff spills out everywhere, you can’t see the floor, how does that feel? Notice the feeling you have when you need to find something to wear and your clothes are still bunched up in laundry baskets, strewn across the room, overflowing from the closets. Time for dance class and you can’t find your ballet shoes? Does that feel nice, or stressful? Do you enjoy the frantic rushing around?  

Start with yourself. “When my home office is this cluttered, it’s hard for me to focus and get any work done. I’m going to spend ten minutes clearing off the desk so that I am not so distracted.” 

Try saying this: We can all learn a new way, together. We can make changes to our home to help us feel better. We deserve to feel good in our space. 

3. ZONES 

The best organized spaces like homes and schools are purposefully arranged to make sense—to be easily understood and navigated, but also to be intuitive and to foster the best function to occur there.  

Libraries are built with nooks for sitting quietly to read—chairs, end tables to stack extra books you want to peruse, away from the entrance or busy areas. The computers are all together, near the printer, usually by a reference desk in case you need help. The books are all together, arranged by type and alphabetical order. What it would it be like if you had to do a report on Saturn but thousands of books were all over the library in no sensical order? What if you had to print homework but the printer was…wait, where is it even? Do they have one at all? (You can’t find it.)  

Zones are intentional placements for what we do.  

It just makes sense to keep like with like. In your bedroom, you’re not going to set up your closet on top of your bed. You sleep in your bed; it is the rest zone. You get dressed from your closet (and/or dresser); that’s where the clothes live.  

Try saying this: We can brainstorm what we want to happen in this space, and where the best possible place for that to occur will be. We can rearrange, we can problem solve. We can set ourselves up for success. 

4. CATEGORIES 

If you want to play with video games, it makes sense that all of your video games are all together, right? You don’t want to have to search the room for the controller, the game, the remote, etc. 

If you want to do arts and crafts, it benefits you to have a station where this can happen. It is definitely not ideal to have paper in one space, markers in a closet, scissors in a drawer, and craft supplies throughout the room. 

Finding what you want and quickly/easily putting things away happens when categories are clear and have boundaries (containers or explicit designated spaces, e.g., board games in this closet). 

Try saying this: Let’s look at our favorite things and divide them into groups of similar items. We can put all of our Legos and accessories together right here. We can collect all our dress-up items here. We can store all our puzzles here.  

5. LABELS 

A parent picking up the playroom after kids are in bed—which is better? 

• tossing them haphazardly into any empty vessel OR  
• taking 2 seconds to identify the picture that matches?  

(Also: this is not recommended. See #6!) 

A friend wanting to play in your space with you? They’re invited over to the shelf where they see the word “Barbies.” 

Want to build a train track? Find what you need quickly by scanning the room for a picture of trains. 

Labels make it happen. 

Simple, generalized labels—best if handmade or chosen by the kids—pictures for not-yet-reading friends—helps reinforce organization. It helps them be more invested in keeping their spaces tidy. 

6. THE DAILY RESET 

Commit as a family to doing a quick sweep of a space before bed, or before school. This works best when we all come together to divide tasks in a room—parent A takes the day’s snack plates and cups to the sink; another caregiver picks up the small game pieces. Kid 1 puts away all of the cars. Kid 2 puts away all the food into the play kitchen.  

Talk about what needs to happen and ask who wants which task. Make it a race, set a timer, put on music, cheer each other on. It is not solely one person’s job to take care of the home. Resist the urge to wait until they’re asleep to clean since you can do it way faster and better. Even young toddlers can have a job. They just need you to slow down and help them learn how to do it. You can do that. (If you didn’t do that, and now they’re older, it’s never too late to learn!) 

Try saying this: We have time to spend 5 minutes (or 10 or 15, whatever you agree upon) to tidy our space. We know it feels good to be in our home, our spaces, in a relaxed and fun way. We give our tomorrow selves this gift today by putting items away. 

7. DECLUTTER DAILY — it’s a normal part of life 

Especially for our kids, who are growing, changing, and learning every day. It’s OK to be over a phase. It’s OK to change your mind about something. It’s OK to decide you no longer want to hold onto a gift from your aunt. We are not meant to feel badly or guilty about our things. 

Keep a cardboard box or a designated bin labeled DONATION in each space. Model for our kids the thought behind our placing items inside.  

“Hmmmm, I just realized we have two of these, but we only need one. I’m choosing to donate this extra one to a neighbor who needs it,” as you place it in the bin. “It feels so good to free up some space.” 

OR 

“This dress is really pretty, and I love it. It doesn’t fit me anymore. I’m going to gift it to someone who will also feel really special in it.” (Put it in the box.) “I feel grateful to be able to pass this on.” 

OR 

“This figurine was from Grandma’s house. We took so many of her things after she died. I just took some time to choose my favorite from her collection. Is there 1 or 2 that you’d like to keep? I’m going to donate the rest to other families who would love these as much as she did.” Carefully place them in the donate box. “It feels like a special way to honor her memory, by being generous just like she was instead of holding onto all of this myself.” 

Try saying this: It doesn’t feel good to be surrounded by so much stuff. We have control over our environment. We can choose to let go of what we don’t need or use. It’s OK to love something and also say goodbye. It’s OK to say no, no thanks, not anymore. 

8. PRACTICE GRATITUDE with our home, our belongings; receive graciously and let go with thankfulness 

This helps with keeping ourselves and our families in abundance mindset, in growth mindset. We have enough. We ARE enough. We don’t need the latest high-tech gadget or the biggest toy collection to be loved, to belong. 

Try saying this: We have what we need, and we are thankful for all of it.  

9. CREATE AND STICK TO BOUNDARIES 

It’s normal for kids to just want, want, want. Instant gratification! It feels good right now to pick up this shiny new thing and bring it home. 

At a recent event while kids were waiting their turn to do the bottle launcher, another mom said, “they have this activity here every year. And we are still waiting in this line even though after last year’s event, we bought our own.” It’s OK to not buy everything they love at a friend’s house, or at a community event. It’s OK to reserve those for special visits or outings.  

It’s OK to say no. “We are going to Target for what’s on this list, it’s not a day we are buying toys.” (And stick to that, gently reminding them if upset feelings come. “It’s OK to be upset. You feel disappointed because you want this right now. We aren’t buying toys today, do you want to play with it here for two more minutes?”) 

Your kids want and need you to create and enforce boundaries. Whether or not they admit it or realize it. If they were allowed to have everything they wanted, every single time, no matter what, it would only be setting them up for a future of chaos.  

And this is a great time to model. Like in the checkout line at Home Goods.  

“Ooooooh, I’m standing here waiting and swooning at alllllllll these cute knickknacks. This candle smells so good. This holiday decor is so adorable. This skin care product would make me glow. I want to buy these things, and I can choose to admire them only.” 

10. Teach them that THE BEST TOY IS CONNECTION 

Emphasize play with friends, family, you, themselves. Prioritize making memories, being silly, and surrounding yourself with people who love and respect you—and how that is the real meaning of it all. Bring experiences to the top of their want list—this doesn’t have to mean you plan extravagant vacations to Disney or a pricey day trip to a NYC Broadway show.  

It can mean your undivided attention for an hour at family game night. It can mean building a fort and having a reading party. It can mean making homemade ice cream and sharing it with neighbors. Have a photo shoot taking tons of pics making silly faces or inventing new dance moves or songs. 

Help them learn presence over presents. It’s being at the mall and saying, “Instead of spending money on these cute shoes, I’m going to treat my best friend to dinner to celebrate her promotion at work.” 

Offer them choices: do you want to buy this x, or would you rather we go to the movies tonight and share popcorn? And then being at the movies and expressing gratitude, “I’m so happy you chose to come to the movies with me instead of buying that comic book. I’m having so much fun with you.” 

Procrastination is a time-waster that, left unchecked, can cost you your goals and dreams. Don’t let it! 

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Still not confident to help your kids learn to be organized? Find a National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professional near you.

Check back for additional blog posts; each week this month we have a different theme: brain-based conditions, productivity, organization, technology, and life transitions. Miss a GO Month post? Catch up here!

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