By Shanley Ten Eyck | Originally posted on www.shanleyteneyck.com

When I work with clients, one of the first things we do is identify their goals for their home. Often the goal is to make more space. “I want a bigger garage, bigger kitchen, bigger-insert room here,” say my clients. 

Part of what decluttering does is to make space. When your cupboards and drawers are stuffed too full (or overflowing), there is no space for new things to come in and move you toward your goals. Decluttering clears those blockages in your mental and energetic states too. 

It’s important to understand that  processing  is part of organizing. If you aren’t ready to get rid of an item, you won’t. That’s the reason that things stay in your home for longer than their intended purpose. If you don’t mindfully pay attention to what is in your home, things will linger longer than they are needed. Photos are a perfect example of this. [Editor’s note: the following lessons focus on photos but are relevant to any item or category of items you have trouble paring down.] 

How many times do you walk by a photo in your home and not even notice it anymore? That’s called clutter blindness.  

In a story one of my clients shares, Linh had a photo of herself from her first wedding that, frankly, she hated. She was bullied into getting it, didn’t like it, and rarely displayed it.  

She even asked her son if he wanted it; his response was, “You look sad in that.” She took that as a “no.” 

Another photo of Linh’s grandfather in her home made her feel sad and angry whenever she talked about it with me. I encouraged her to think about why she was keeping these photos. 

Sometimes people keep things like photos or clothing from those who are no longer with us. These items can represent ancestral trauma. You can sever the ties and heal that past trauma when you release unnecessary items in your home that aren’t moving you toward your goals. 

It took Linh a couple of weeks to process why she was keeping her photos, but when she was ready, she was able to release them. Linh posted on Facebook that she had let them go, and a family member immediately came back with, “You should keep those! They’re family heirlooms!” 

A “Shanleyism” I share with my clients is we try not to “should on ourselves.” You COULD do something, if you choose to. If it makes your heart happy, you COULD do it. But if someone is “shoulding” on you, make it your choice, not theirs. 

So, I encouraged Linh to send any other unwanted photos to that family member so they could become the keeper of those memories. If Linh was not interested in having them in her home anymore, it’s important she does not feel bullied into keeping them. And that’s exactly what Linh did when she came across additional “family heirlooms” as we worked through her photos.  

Now a year later, Linh is able to recognize that she had to process her feelings about those photos to be able to release them in order to create the life she wanted. 

If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are three tips to help move you forward and reduce the number of photos in your home. 

1. Look at your photos you have displayed. Really look at them. How do they make you feel? Honestly. If they don’t make you smile inside, you may want to consider why you are keeping them. Would it make more sense to offer them to someone else in the family? 

2. Go through photos in boxes or old photo albums, etc. Do you know who the people are in the pictures? Can you write on the back of them, identifying the people and the occasion? Is there a way to organize them that makes sense to you? Are there some you want to pull out of hiding and display in your home? Can you let go of duplicates or blurry photos? Can you pass along unwanted photos to a historical or cultural society? 

3. Consider making digital copies of your old photos. If some are damaged, have them restored* if they are special to you (do a web search for businesses that specialize in these services). When you have digital files of all your photos (including all the photos on your phone), make an organizational plan (by family, year, events, people—whatever makes sense to you) and create files for each category. Use these organizational categories for future photos as well. 

Give yourself plenty of time and emotional space to do the necessary processing as you touch each photograph. You will gain a new appreciation of the photos you let linger in your life. And the photos you release will make space for you to breathe (and possibly forgive, like with Linh). 

It’s in the processing—not just the organizing—where the magic truly happens. 

Procrastination is a time-waster that, left unchecked, can cost you your goals and dreams. Don’t let it! 

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